Fanfiction Review: Infallible

It's been quite a while, but the reviews have returned. And let's get it started in here with the Pegasus Rescue Brigade's offering, Infallible.

Fanfiction Review: Rainbooms and Royalty

Say, you remember the Lunaverse? Well, someone read that, combined it with a few other stories, and came up with their own alternate universe version of Equestria, where Rainbow Dash is Princess Celestia's student. Does this one fare better than the one about the amazing awesomeness of Trixie and Luna? We're going to find out...in the accompanying post, because this one's all about Rainbooms and Royalty.

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SYNOPSIS:

Shortly after Rainbow Dash made her first Sonic Rainboom, she is approached by a visiting Princess Celestia and offered the opportunity to become her personal student. She accepts, but years later, she has grown restless and weary of the Canterlot lifestyle and runs away to Ponyville. There, she meets an eccentric group of friends, befriends her crush's reclusive little sister, and discovers a far more terrible truth about the coming Summer Sun Celebration. And before long, she will be thrust into a dangerous quest to bring down the greatest threat Equestria has yet faced: Nightmare Moon.

REVIEW:

Rainbooms and Royalty owes its direct inspiration to the Lunaverse, but also has bits and pieces of several other stories mixed in there, all of which are listed on the story's cover page. There's also quite a few fanon references worked throughout, from Rainbow Dash's middle name of Miriam to Ditzy being crammed in there as a single working mother. Still, it's nothing terribly distracting (unlike another set of references I'll be getting into in a moment), and does help to flesh out the world Dash finds herself in.

I'll mostly be covering the differences between this AU and the Lunaverse in a separate post, but for now, let's talk about our characters. All of the canon cast are very well realized and kept in-character, albeit with additional layers and slightly altered histories. The only two who have real changes made to their characters are Rainbow Dash and Twilight. The former is still a speed demon who wants to join the Wonderbolts, but now has feelings of inadequacy over being stuck in a society that she simply doesn't fit into for so long, and has a much tenser relationship than the canon Twilight has with Celestia. Likewise, this Twilight's magical rampage lasted much longer, and because of all the destruction she caused, she's left feeling like she's a walking time bomb and has no friends because everypony (including herself) thinks she's a monster.

The actual story is a retelling of the original pilot episode, but the challenges have been altered to be more intense and less contrived. And for the most part, they work pretty well. The stakes are much higher, the challenges are much larger, and there are even brainwashed minibosses. (I'm not telling who they are, but it's a loop.) Nightmare Moon is also a much more threatening (and competent) opponent, and the final battle is actually a battle, bordering on a full-on war.

So this story is wonderful and perfect, right? Well, no. There are some rather huge stumbling blocks.

One issue I have with the story's middle section is the inclusion of blatant “homages” to other movies. Sometimes it works; the first obstacle is based on the Swamp of Sadness from The NeverEnding Story and is executed to good effect. But then you start hitting a few other, less-than-charitable references. At one point, the heroes run into gargoyles...who are presented in the same way as on the actual series Gargoyles. It's a rather jarring reference that knocks me out of the story. And the very next chapter has Twilight reciting, word for word, Superman's “World of Cardboard” speech from Justice League Unlimited. There's a very fine line between homage and plagiarism, and I think this story toes it quite a few times.

Length is also a bit of a problem. The story drags at several points, especially towards the beginning, where almost everything is setup. This was fine in the Lunaverse, for reasons that we'll get to in the followup post, but here it just feels like we're walking over ground we've already treaded before coming in. The ending is also rather long-winded, as Trinary seemingly wants to close off a host of lingering questions before finishing the story, as well as debate some points revolving around ethical philosophies and the famous “Needs of the Many” quote. I won't debate the points made here, other than to say that while Trinary raises some good points, I don't think this section was wholly necessary or executed very well.

And then there's my biggest issue: Rainbow Dash herself. While she's mostly in-character and works fine, there are two points of contention I have with how she's presented in this story. First, her central conflict comes off as being rather whiny. I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy for the “I'm the student of a princess so everypony thinks I'm too good for them and I hate that so much” kind of drama that flares up from time to time, especially in the early-going chapters. The second, and far more damning issue, comes up in the last few chapters, where Dash behaves like a total bitch because Celestia wasn't completely straightforward with her. And that's how it starts; by the end, my sympathy for any of the characters involved in those passages has evaporated like ice cubes under a magnifying glass.

On a closing note, I need to talk about Zecora. She's greatly expanded upon here, and has several good moments throughout the story, but Trinary simply does not nail her speech. She rhymes, sure, but there's a rhythm to how she talks that's completely missing here. I know from experience how hard it is to write good Zecora dialogue, but the stuff here just falls flat. Still, at least she didn't get turned into a villain because the author thought making her an evil enchantress would be funny.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Despite my issues with the story, most particularly with the last couple chapters, I still enjoyed it. The AU aspects are rather subtle and needed more expanding on, which should have happened in the sequels if I understand. (I haven't read them yet, so no comment.) Everypony here is kept wonderfully in-character, and the challenges they face are far more threatening and intense than in the show. It's a rather long read, but I would recommend giving a chapter or two a chance if you have time to see what you think.

Fanfiction Review: Darkest Before Dawn

I hope you're all enjoying yet another pony-free Saturday. With no episodes on the horizon for months, we've got plenty of time to fill with fanfics, talking about fanfics, and wasting our lives. So let's look at an older story, one that ended right around the end of Season Two, about Twilight's early years. Today, we're reviewing Sessalisk's Darkest Before Dawn.

Fanfiction Review: Paradise

Well, it's Wednesday, and it's time for another blog post. So let's look at SlyWit's classic Paradise.

Fanfiction Review: Around the Bend

It's time. We're tackling one of the most controversial authors in the history of the fandom. And while it would be tempting to look at one of her Conversion Bureau fics, for the sake of all our sanities (and because I want to talk about it more than...that universe), we'll be looking at her examination of the retcons and differences between Seasons One and Two. This should be some fascinating reading, after all...right?

Let's check our guts and look at Chatoyance's Around the Bend.

Fanfiction Review: On a Cross and Arrow

Well, the other review went over all right, so I guess it's safe to reveal what the backup was going to be. Once again, I am making an ass of myself and reviewing what is commonly considered one of the most popular stories in the fandom. And this was going to go over better than a Chatoyance story because...?

Let's look at Conner Cogwork's On a Cross and Arrow.

Fanfiction Review: Joker Saves the Ponies

I-It's been three weeks without pony and...and I just need a shot, man. Just a shot...

Okay, in all seriousness, today's fic is...odd. It's a delectable little gem offered to us by Jabberspike that stars a pair of popular comic book characters. So let's take a look at Joker Saves the Ponies.

Fanfiction Review: Anthropology

Since there was no blog post on Wednesday, how about a special one today? It's not like tomorrow's is going to take more than thirty minutes to put together. (/sarcasm) So let's look at one of the all-out most famous fics in the fandom, JasontheHuman's Anthropology, and see if I can dig my grave even deeper!

Fanfiction Review: Going Up

Another day, another review. And today, we're looking at a charming little story called Going Up by Chris. originally written for the Hearth's Warming Care Package competition and for Kiki, a seven-year-old diagnosed with brain cancer. It ultimately placed sixth, but it also shares some fantastic company, so if you want to check out the other stories, check all of the entries out here. In the meantime, let's look at this one and see how it holds up.

Fanfiction Review: A Drop of Moonshine

Last week, we looked at Past Sins, one of the most famous fanfics in FiM's massive fandom. Today, I'm looking at another one of Pen Stroke's works; in fact, this was the story that directly followed Past Sins in publication. Will it be better? Worse? Somewhere in the middle? We'll find out when we finish looking at A Drop of Moonshine.

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SYNOPSIS:

After Celestia has a rather stressful day running the country, Luna tries to help by searching for her hidden liquor bottle. To her dismay, however, alcohol was actually banned in Equestria shortly after Luna's banishment, on account of Celestia's rampant alcoholism after such a traumatic event. But Luna can synthesize alcohol through moonlight, and surely a single drink can't hurt...

REVIEW:

I'm going to get this right out of the way: A Drop of Moonshine is my absolute favorite Pen Stroke fic. It's crazy, funny, a little sad at parts, and just a lot of fun to read through.

The central premise of the story is that Celestia was so distraught over banishing her sister that she turned to drink, becoming a rampaging, out-of-control alcoholic who ruined lives and screwed up formal events in her stupor. Her advisers then banned alcohol entirely, since as long as a single drop existed, Celestia would find it. So we have Celestia as a recovering drug addict, more or less, who gets tempted by her unwitting sister into trying that old habit of hers. Way to go, Luna.

The rest of the story is about the two drunk princesses acting like idiots, going to Ponyville, and sucking up Twilight into their escapades. And in one of the other nice touches, alcohol has been outlawed for so long that Twilight has no idea what's gotten into the princesses, what alcohol even is, and how to deal with two drunk demigods. As the story continues, it becomes about Twilight trying to restrain a totally sloshed Celestia as she attempts to eat all of Applejack's apples and chew on...well, you have to read the rest to get that.

There are really only two real weaknesses I can find with the story. The first is that Luna more or less vanishes from the picture halfway through, returns again briefly towards the end, and is passed out entirely during the last scene. While the Celestia/Twilight stuff was strong, it would have been nice to see more of drunk Luna in the process. (This might be explained by it being a pre-Luna Eclipsed story, and thus before Luna had much of an established character.) And second, the story just...stops. The ending scene is funny as all get out, but the narrative just feels like it comes to a screeching halt.

There was a sequel, A Mug of Hard Cider, but I'll probably review that one by itself down the line.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

If you like stories about Celestia and Luna getting drunk, then this is a good one to look at. It's nothing deftly serious or moving, but it's still just a lot of good fun. It's still my favorite work by Pen Stroke, and it's kind of sad that it's doomed to be forgotten in the shadow of Past Sins.

Fanfiction Review: Short Cakes

It's been three days since the finale. Is it safe to come out of the bunker now?

Well, in any case, let's look at Cloud Wander's Short Cakes while munching on canned peaches. Because nothing tastes more perfect for a post-apocalypse like fruit injected with preservatives and tinged with rust.

Fanfiction Review: Past Sins

...Okay, I have nothing better to do. So let's look at one of the most popular pony fics into the totality of existence. One that's already been discussed to death and I have absolutely no reason to bring up again.  Let's do something that much more talented fanfiction critic already did and look at Past Sins and get this over with.

Fanfiction Reviews: Cupcakes

Well, there's nothing else to talk about, I haven't listened to the leaked song, and...well, I'm bored. So let's look at quite possibly the most infamous fanfic in FiM's existence. Let's look at Sergeant Sprinkles' Cupcakes.

Fanfiction Review: Happy Birthday, Fizzypop!

I know it's a day early, but my Monday might not be so good so...let's get this done now.

Time to dig into the fanfiction well once again. This time around, we're looking at not a request, but a story from all the way back in 2011. Why? Because we can. So let's look at ItsTheWhinyGuys' Happy Birthday, Fizzypop!

Fanfiction Review: The Sweet Meet and Greet

(Requested By: djthomp)

Welcome to our second fanfiction review. Today, we look at MrNumbers' story of Pinkie's arrival in Ponyville, The Sweet Meet and Greet.

Fanfiction Review: SKITTISH

(Requested By: JMac)

Welcome to the blog's first (non-Lunaverse) fanfiction review! (Or, if you've somehow stumbled across the Blogger version without knowing of Fimfiction, the first one ever!) No idea if this one's going to work or not, but here goes. Let's look at JMac's SKITTISH.

SYNOPSIS:

During a trip to a cemetery on Nightmare Night, Cheerilee's class find themselves under the guidance of the mysteriously-pale Dusty. The foals learn about the dark tragedies that have befallen the graveyard's permanent residents, including one that might be closer than they think...

REVIEW:

SKITTISH sells itself as an old-fashioned ghost story, and on that front it delivers. This isn't totally different from the kinds of stories kids would tell each other around the campfire, with generic spooky motifs and terrible fates befalling the cast. There is no gore, no swearing, and outside of a single skeleton, nothing in here that hints at the cheap lengths many writers go to in order to provoke scares.

If there is a weakness to the story, it's that the show's characters are not really involved in the fanfiction's narrative. They mostly exist as audience surrogates, a way for Dusty to tell the story without breaking the fourth wall. Cheerilee and Big Macintosh appear in the beginning, but quickly vacate to give Dusty the freedom to work her magic. And while there is some minor payoff with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, most of the foals are just there because they needed to ask the questions and keep the story flowing. Dusty is the real main character, and she is very well realized, especially after you find out about the twist.

As for the horror aspects, I won't say that any of them really scared me. But I don't really think that was the intention. We're treated to a few early stories about spirits wrecking vengeance on the living, but they're framed in such a way that they come across as sideshow attractions at a Halloween festival. When we get to the actual focus, however, we're treated to a much darker tale, and the contrast between the two moods helps the atmosphere tremendously.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This is a simple but effective story, and one I definitely recommend reading. While the canon characters are a bit marginalized, Dusty herself is an enjoyable figure, and the main feature is a perfect example of a classic ghost story. Don't go in here expecting actual scares, and you'll have a good time.

RATING: Good